INSANITY ... THE PERFECT STORM by Marggie Rassler
In 1979 the voices moved in. They took
residence inside my head and outside my ears.
Sleep became futile. At
night, my eyes closed to reveal unwelcome intruders. In the darkness within me
the daunting parade of strange faces appeared ... coming closer and closer to
my mind's eye. Angry faces. Eyes like razors. One by one they slid closer and
closer into me. Each forcefully drawing something out of me. At these times, I
trembled and wept. Alone. Couldn't tell anyone I had plunged into insanity. The
children ... they would be taken away.
My heart battled its inner world of
constant storms. Biting, crushing words from the voices tormented me with their
prophecies of approaching doom. "Soon you will be in a mental hospital. Behind bars.Tied down." Only the loaded
gun in the closet whispered relief.
In my despair I called out to God.
Visions came from a supernatural realm and then ... the invitation. Surrender.
Surrender? Surrender what? Surrender all.
What else to do? I wrote the open,
invisible check and gave it to Him.
My life, my soul, my children, my husband ... all. My insanity. All that I had, all that I was, all that I would
be. And then, it began. A supernatural existence. The war with a year of the
endless battles He and I would fight together ... battles won placing me back
into sanity. Lessons I would then spent thirty years teaching others.
At my house we have a sign on the
front door. Shalom. The Hebrew word means PEACE. A certain kind of peace that
brings health, well-being, protection and deliverance. Many through the years,
have come through our doors, looking for that. In their search I have seen their
encounters with God that radically changed their hopeless lives. It is because
of the supernatural power of redemption I have experienced in my own life and
the same power I have seen manifested in their lives that I believe.
It is because of the desire in my life
to help others so oppressed that I want to write and tell their stories ... His story. Pray for me.
I went to the Holy Land to help build the Bahai’ Terraces at the Bahai’ World Centre in 1995. Three days after I arrived I went to the Shrine of the Bab, the centerpiece of the soon-to-be magnificent garden, to pray and give thanks. As I thought of the words “thank You for this opportunity to serve” I swear to this day my ear drums vibrated with “Thank you… the pleasure is mine.” No other living human was in that small room that late spring afternoon.
ReplyDeleteWhat followed was three years of struggle. What carried me through were those words: “The pleasure is mine.”
I often thought it was ego. That I was the only one that could have tamed the many other egos to accomplish the task (I was put in charge of the entire quarter of a billion dollar project at one point). I may have not been the only one, but I was the one chosen. That I do believe. When you’re chosen, you can’t fail. When you’re told to “surrender”, you win the battle.
Thanks, John for sharing. That's touching.
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